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The ridge of the plastic chair digs painfully into my back as I sit semi-reclined, one leg stretched out, heel propped up against the low radiator along the wall.
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The sun has been pouring through the industrial-sized windows all afternoon and I am foolishly sitting in full glare, half blinded by the powerful rays. A thin film of sweat coats my skin, trapping wisps of hair against my forehead, clinging to my school shirt. I turn my eyes away from the tiny carcasses and try to focus on the mass of quadratic equations on the board.
At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window – do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough? I wonder what it would be like to be shut up in this airless glass box, slowly baked for two long months by the relentless sun, able to see the outdoors – the wind shaking the green trees right there in front of you – hurling yourself again and again at the invisible wall that seals you off from everything that is real and alive and necessary until eventually you succumb: scorched, exhausted, overwhelmed by the impossibility of the task. It is hard to believe that they were ever alive. I gaze at the small, crisp, burned-out black husks scattered across the chipped white paint of the windowsills. Want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the You can close your eyes to the things you do not Finally, I am so lucky to have as my best friend Akiko Hart, who not only helps me to write, but, more importantly, to live.
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Thalia Suzuma gives me invaluable feedback too, along with practical help and professional advice. Tiggy Suzuma is the pride of my life and somehow manages to make me laugh during the bad times and not take it all too seriously.
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Tansy Roekaerts offers me constructive feedback on all my books and always seems to know how to help me when I am stuck. My mother not only tirelessly proof-reads my books at every stage, but also helps me find the time and energy to write them. I am especially grateful for the incredible support of my family. My thanks also extend to Sophie Nelson and to the design team for their invaluable contribution. Editors Sarah Dudman and Ruth Knowles worked extremely hard and I am very grateful for their patience, expertise and commitment. I also want to offer my heartfelt thanks to Annie Eaton, who has been so encouraging and has kept believing in me and in this book so strongly. First of all, this book would have never existed had it not been for the passion and unwavering faith of my editor, Charlie Sheppard, who not only fought for this book’s creation, but continued to fight, during the many times I wanted to give up, to keep the book alive. Therefore I owe an enormous thank-you to all those who helped and supported me during this tough time. In fact it was possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I wish I could say writing this book was easy. Printed in the UK by CPI Bookmarque, Croydon, CR0 4TD 954009Ī CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Our paper procurement policy can be found at Set in 11.5/14.5pt Baskervilleĭefinitions are published by Random House Children’s Books, 61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SAĪddresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited can be found at: THE RANDOM HOUSE GROUP Limited Reg. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace-approved FSC-certified paper carry the FSC logo. The Random House Group Limited supports the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest certification organization. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
The right of Tabitha Suzuma to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.Īll rights reserved. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.įirst published in Great Britain by Definitions, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books A Random House Group Company This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law.
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